Ashley Fulmer knew she and her husband were going to build a “non-traditional” family.
“I am unable to have [biological] children,” Ashley shared. “We started praying about it, and [my husband] said, ‘I feel like God is calling us to foster care.’
“At the time, I was like, ‘No, I don’t think He is!’ It took some more prayer for me before I said, ‘Okay. It’s very clear that God is saying that there’s a need here, that we have availability and big hearts and the willingness to do it.’”
This decision began an eight-month process to become licensed foster parents. The Fulmers received their first placement through The Georgia Division of Family & Children Services (DFCS) and cared for this child until reunification.
“My husband and I agreed when we started this journey that God was in control,” she explained. “It was funny because we said ‘yes’ to God, but then we put Him in a box. ‘God, we’ll say “yes,” but only if it’s up to three kids. Only if it’s this age.’ Our very first placement blew every preference we had out of the water. It was nothing that we had preferred, but God said, ‘You have to say “yes” to these children.’
“In showing our obedience to Him, He just kept opening our eyes more and more to say, ‘You can’t put me in a box. I’ll send you who you’re meant to have. Just keep your hands open, your heart open and your home open, and it’ll be fine.’”
DFCS then asked the Fulmers if they would open their home to a sibling set of four. When reunification was no longer an option, Ashley and her husband pursued adoption.
“Three of them we adopted back in July of last year,” she shared. However, due to immigration complications, she and her husband are still in the process of adopting her oldest son.
After working directly with DFCS, the Fulmers decided they wanted a change.
“We ended up coming to Families 4 Families because we needed additional support,” Ashley explained. “With four kiddos, it’s really hard to find people who want to babysit, so with the date nights and the moms and dads support groups, there was so much that allowed my husband and me to stay connected as a married couple so that we were strong enough to love on these kiddos.”
The support the Fulmers have received from Families 4 Families has allowed them to push through their hardest days.
“It has made us a healthier family and given us more margin to be able to open our home, open our hearts and support the kids the best way we can,” Ashley said. “Without it, [foster care] can wear on you — you can have significant burnout and question whether or not you are capable of doing it.”
The Fulmers’ church community has also stepped up to expand their care and encouragement, especially after conversations between Families 4 Families’ CEO and Ashley’s pastor.
“Wayne started attending our church and started conversations with our pastor like ‘You’ve already got foster families in your church. How can we support them better?’” she explained. “Our church community and our small group have stepped up in such big ways, loving on us, supporting us, helping watch the kids or bringing meals or supplies.”
Families 4 Families has also connected the Fulmers with other churches in the area to provide wrap-around care.
“They have adopted us and support us with meals every month and things like that,” she said. “These things bless us when the kids are having some difficult days and some trauma-induced behaviors. Maybe I intended to make a beautiful meal, but it’s more important for me to be with them.”
For churches or individuals wanting to support local foster families, Ashley points out two simple ways to make a big difference.
“The two biggest ways to assist foster parents is through meals and date nights. It’s very hard for us to find babysitters who are trauma-informed and who understand our kiddos come from a difficult past,” she said. “The date nights at the churches are huge because the volunteers are so sweet and love on our kids so well.”
In addition to their sibling set of four, Ashley and her husband have recently welcomed two new little ones for a full house of kids ranging in age from one to thirteen.
“We would never have been able to say ‘yes’ to six kiddos without the help of Families 4 Families,” Ashley said. “They have been there every step of the way through their support groups and showing up for some of our weird things like immigration.
“They’ve just offered so many different ways to make us feel surrounded and loved.”
